I was going to let all the men in my life off the hook for this Mother's Day. I didn't expect them to do anything. The most two important gift-giving-make-a-big-deal-about-me holidays are my birthday and Christmas, all other things are icing on the cake so to speak. I know that my husband and boys struggle to know what to do for me even with just those to "me declared" special days. I have to confess that I get weird about my exceptions on both and just wanted to spare us all the extra hub-bub.
Well, my husband totally surprised me and had planned something. He even asked if he should keep it a surprise or not, knowing that having a surprise is important to me. He did good. He asked that our oldest son come home for dinner, and he did the shopping and planned the meal. So when it came time to pray I wanted to. I wanted to thank God for letting me be a mom, but as I was praying I decided to keep it short and sweet because I knew that I couldn't say what I wanted to say with out getting all teary eyed and squeaky voice. The boys get a bit annoyed and mystified when I cry over silly stuff. To me, what I wanted to say wasn't silly stuff. I just want to write it out here because I want to get it out of my heart and express that prayer.
Thank you. Thank you for giving me a husband that loves me and stays even when we have to disagree and fight things out. Thank you for giving me the ability to forgive and move on when it's hard. Thank you for the person who listens and is there for me. Thank you for giving me a husband that supports me in my passion driven "career" of being a full-time mom. Thank you for providing all that we need.
Thank you for baby boy #1. That little ball of energy that kicked and punched me from the inside and then tried those moves on me on the outside. Thank you for his hugs and kisses as a baby, his silliness, funniness, smarts, and ryhming games in the car, his passion and drive as a child, his crazy Mohawk hair, long talks about deep things, and fighting it out with me until I had to put a stop to our madness by stopping the whole argument and not talking until we both cooled down. Thank you for showing me how much you must love people by putting a crazy aching kind of love in my heart for him.
Thank you for baby boy #2. That little baby inside who didn't move all day and I would often to check to see if he was alive at night by poking and pushing my belly. Thank you for his easy birth and his easy style as a baby. Thank you that he didn't fall on the knife he found on the counter and carried in his had as a toddler, and that he never fell off the table that he was always on top of. Thank you for his smile, his sweetness and how he would sit on my lap and just be with me. Thank you for his independence and ability to learn and take on life on his own. Thank you for his funny way of watching the same scene of a movie over and over so that he could learn the lines and then act out the scene over and over again. Thank you for his tender heart that he tries to mask with an air of toughness. Thank you that he has blossomed in the past few years and I am getting to know what is inside that quiet little boy.
Thank you for turning my world upside down when you surprised me with baby #3. It was a rough time in life and I experienced a lot of grief that I shoved down into my soul. You gave me a gift of life that I didn't feel I deserved. Along with his life came many other things that are gifts to me now, but tough to go through. Through this child you have shown me your love and long suffering. Thank you for his amazing smile. Thank you for his daring acts as a toddler that had me in constant fear. Thank you for protecting him from himself and his brothers. Thank you for the love and support from my church when he had to have a CT scan at 7 months because the dr. was concerned with his rapidly growing head. Thank you that all was normal. Thank you that he loved me unconditionally and wanted to have me close. Thank you for all the lazy naps I took with him because he wanted me to lay down with him. Thank you for his wonderful happy playful self. Thank you for the learning challenges and medical challenges, because they are challenging, painful and are shaping me to see life differently. Thank you that you are working right now through the difficultly he is currently having. Thank you that I get to be his Mom and get to be the one to take care of him when he gets sick. Thank you that he isn't always sick and that there are good days when that little boy, who is now a teen, gets to be his normal self. Thank you for his incredible intelligence in spite of the difficulties in reading and writing because of his Irlen's Syndrome. Thank for the ability to get his special glasses and that he is learning to not be bothered when people look at him funny.
God you are amazing. You called me to motherhood when I was only a young lady of 15 years. You set in my heart a strong desire to be a wife and mother and you fulfilled it. You have been ever providing, ever loving, ever protective, and ever there....even when I cannot see you or feel you. You never leave. Your love never changes. You are constant when I am wavering. You are my Father, teacher, and Savior. You are patient when my finite mind wants so desperately to understand infinite things. You call me to obedience because you love me.
I am keenly aware of my humble state as a mother. I have no fame or glory. I am a servant. At times I long to go do something else, something that will get a paycheck or an award or something to affirm me. But you have called me back and kept me here. What you are doing in my life isn't for all mothers, you have other plans for other moms, but for me I know you have me where you want me, serving you in my home. Help me bow my head in humble submission to you my King. Give me strength when my heart wonders, strength to know my mission and obey my calling.
Help me to live and speak in a way that will point these babies to you. I don't always know exactly how, please show me each step of the way. I love them, my husband and my children. You love them more than me. Work in their life, call them to faith in Christ and reliance on you. God you know how imperfect I am at being a Godly wife and Godly mother. You know that I have much to learn and much more to grow. But thank you, thank you for giving me these people to go through life with. And thank you for my mother, who did so much to take care of me, to teach me and model life for me. I am forever grateful for all the things she sacrificed, gave to me and gave up to be my mother. Please bless my mother.